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I am stupid.
I am inconsiderate.
I am chubbychunkyfathuskyflabbyugly.
I am a waste.
Tuesday
  Breakfast: Apple juice
  Lunch: Smoothie, water/fruit juice
  Dinner: Apple, water
Wednesday
  Breakfast: Apple juice
  Lunch: Fruit salad, water/fruit juice
  Dinner: Apple, water
Thursday
  Breakfast: Apple Juice
  Lunch: Smoothie, water/fruit juice
  Dinner: Apple, water
Friday
  Breakfast: Orange juice
  Lunch: Fruit salad, water/fruit juice
  Dinner: Apple, water
Saturday
  Breakfast: Orange juice
  Lunch: Fruit salad, water/fruit juice
  Dinner: Apple, water
Sunday
  Breakfast: Orange juice
  Lunch: Fruit salad, water/fruit juice
  Dinner: Apple, water
Monday
  Breakfast: Orange juice
  Lunch: Fruit salad, water/fruit juice
  Dinner: Apple, water

Thinspiration #1

  
  
 
  
  
  
  

My fat shots.

The ABC Diet

This is the ABC Diet plan and the cooler the color, the better and lower the calories are.
  1. 500
  2. 500
  3. 300
  4. 400
  5. 100
  6. 200
  7. 300
  8. 400
  9. 500
  10. Fast
  11. 150
  12. 200
  13. 400
  14. 350
  15. 250
  16. 200
  17. Fast
  18. 200
  19. 100
  20. Fast
  21. 300
  22. 250
  23. 200
  24. 150
  25. 100
  26. 50
  27. 100
  28. 200
  29. 200
  30. 300
  31. 800
  32. Fast
  33. 250
  34. 350
  35. 450
  36. Fast
  37. 500
  38. 450
  39. 400
  40. 350
  41. 300
  42. 250
  43. 200
  44. 200
  45. 250
  46. 200
  47. 300
  48. 200
  49. 150
  50. Fast

The Plan....

Alright. Here is my plan in a handy list format. ^_^
  • Make 5 goals for the day and work towards them
  • Exercise everyday
  • Have some kind of educational work everyday (Sindarin, Druid Circle, etc.)
  • Weigh every other day
  • Journal thoughts and record calories in Lose it! every day
  • Record measurements every 2 weeks
  • Limit of 1,000 calories a day
  • Reach Big Goal Weight by the first day of school
  • Reach Ultimate Goal Weight by birthday

Binge and Purge Breakdown

Let's do this shit.

6:35 - Made the pasta, sitting down to eat it all and watch something to numb my mind.
6:40 - Feeling it now....will eat a bit more then vomit.
6:42 - Off to purge....
6:46 - Done with the first course. Now for some chocolate ice cream and then I'll be done.
6:56 - Off to purge again....
7:01 - Done purging. Got the ice cream up and more of the pasta too, so that's good.

I'm quite pleased with this binge and purge. I feel good.

Purging

I think....I'm going to eat a lot of pasta....and I am going to purge. I haven't done it in awhile, but I really, really need to.
I am going to purge like nobody's fucking business.
Purge and purge and purge and purge.
Mother above.

And the scale says....

144.2.
144.2.
I....I....+6lbs since last I weighed (can't actually remember when, but it was recent).
Cold dispair and confusion are spreading through my flabby body....I'm not even angry just....why did this happen?
This horrible gain will, of course, result in a fast. I'd like to fast a day for every pound, but that's maybe not the best idea. For smaller gains, though, it will be a good tool.
So....I guess a fast is happening tomorrow. Wish me luck.
Blessings,
Cybele

Greetings

Suilad. My name is Cybele and I am....well....I'm not quite sure what I am. Perhaps I'll just tell you somethings that describe me and you can make out for yourself what you think I am. Here is my list (I like lists):
  • Geek (History, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Myths, RPGs, etc.)
  • OCD (I like to organize and sort, do puzzles, knit, count, etc.)
  • Depressed (I'm getting better about it, more confidence maybe)
  • A lady-in-training (I'm trying to be more elegant and mature and mannered)
  • A Pagan (I am a solitary. eclectic. Pagan)
  • Mediocre guitarist
  • Mediocre writer
  • Dreamer
  • An Elf-in-training
  • Fat.
That is a very vague summary of me.